| 00:09:55 | |
| Donkey | Wooh! Look at that. Who'd want to live in a place like that? |
| Shrek | That would be my home. |
| Donkey | Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. |
| 00:18:04 | |
| Lord | Mirror, mirror, on the wall. |
| Lord | Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? |
| Mirror | Well, technically you're not a king. |
| Lord | Uh, Thelonius. |
| Thelonius | (breaks a small mirror) |
| Lord | You were saying? |
| Mirror | What I mean is, you're not a king yet. |
| Mirror | But you can become one. |
| 00:23:06 | |
| Lord | Some of you may die, |
| Lord | but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. |
| 00:26:19 | |
| Donkey | Let me get this straight. You're gonna... ... ... |
| Donkey | ... ... ... Is that about right? |
| Shrek | You know what? |
| Shrek | Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. |
| 00:34:25 | |
| Donkey | You're a girl dragon! |
| Donkey | Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. |
| Donkey | You're just reeking of feminine beauty. |
| 00:37:03 | |
| Fiona | You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. |
| Fiona | That's what all the other knights did. |
| Shrek | Yeah, right before they burst into flame. |
| Fiona | That's not the point. |
| 00:53:32 | |
| Shrek | Where did you learn that? |
| Fiona | Well... When one lives alone, |
| Fiona | uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a... |
| Fiona | There's an arrow in your butt! |
| 00:54:01 | |
| Donkey | Don't die, Shrek. |
| Donkey | If you see a long tunnel, |
| Donkey | stay away from the light! |
| 00:54:41 | |
| Donkey | Blue flower, red thorns. |
| Donkey | Blue flower, red thorns. |
| Donkey | This would be so much easier if I wasn't colour-blind! |
| 00:59:28 | |
| Donkey | I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until... |
| Donkey | Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. |
| 01:16:30 | |
| Fiona | What are you doing here? |
| Lord | Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you... |
