You can do this
KatieMy mom says she believes in me.
momYou can do this, hon.
KatieBut she says that to everyone.
momYou can look straight.
momFollow this pen.
momFollow this pen.
momYou get an "A" for effort, Buster Brown.

we can make ten seconds of unobstructed family eye contact
dadHow about we put our phones down,
dadand we can make ten seconds of unobstructed family eye contact?
dadPut your phone down. Now.
dadKatie, it seems like you're not taking this seriously.
KatieWhat makes you say that?

even their dog is in better shape than ours
momYou know, the Poseys are on vacation right now,
momand look how happy they are.
neighborFamily yoga break.
sonWhy are you obsessed with the Poseys?
sonThey're just our neighbors.
momThey're just so perfect.
momI mean, even their dog is in better shape than ours.
momWhat are they feeding that thing?
momOther dogs?

this place has literally zero stars on Yelp
KatieDad, this place has literally zero stars on Yelp.
KatieIt says, "Do not eat here ever."
dadWhat, are we gonna let an app tell us how to...
dadThis is totally unrelated.
dadThis is totally unrel...

I'm just gonna turn them off permanently!
dadOkay, the first thing is,
dadyou're gonna have to hand over your devices.
dadRight here.
dadIt's gonna be fine.
dadI'll give 'em right back.
dadI'm just gonna turn them off permanently!

We're not defective
robotBrother, we should go.
KatieNo! I order you to stop.
robotUh, we are just stopping because we chose to.
robotNo, we're not.
robotWe are humans.
robotWe are.
robotFor example, we consume food in the traditional human manner.
robotYum, yum, good. Yum, yum, good.

Dog? Pig? Dog?
robotWhy are you clutching that large feral hog like it's a child?
sonThat's not a feral hog. It's Monchi.
robotIs that a dog or...
robotDog? Pig? Dog?
robotPig? Dog? Pig? Pig? Dog? Dog?
robotLoaf of bread.
robotSystem error.
dadCome on, guys. It's a dog.
dadWe think.

This is humiliating.
dadHow you doing, Aaron?
sonNot good.
sonThere's a pack of wild vacuums.
vacuumWe have been summoned into the field of battle.
vacuumOh no. Ouch. Ouch.
vacuumThe pain. Ouch.
vacuumThis is humiliating.
sonNever mind.

Yes, my queen.
mobileI have a job for you.
killerYes, my queen.
robotWhat a suck-up.
robot"Yes, my queen."
robot"Whatever you want."

The endgame has begun.
dadAh, this is gonna be harder than I thought.
KatieHold on. Dad, that's... that's kind of weak.
KatieThis is, like, a big moment.
KatieTry this instead.
dadOh yeah. Okay. That's better.
dadThe endgame has begun.
dadThat? Is that what you're looking for?

that's a hurtful stereotype
robotLeft, right, left, right.
dadBleep, blorp, bleep, blorp.
robotWhat? What are you doing?
dadBleep, blorp, bleep, blorp. I am a robot.
robotJust to educate you,
robotthat's a hurtful stereotype.

Uh, English.
dadW-W-W dot...
dadOh God. Uh...
dad"Remind me later."
dadOkay, yeah, fine. That's fine.
dadFive minutes!
dadAah! No!
dadUh, English.
dadWhat have I done?

I'm a computer expert.
KatieHey, Dad, you subscribed to my YouTube channel?
KatieThanks. I'm surprised you even figured out how.
dadKatie, please. After all that, I'm a computer expert.
dadAm I doing this right?
dadShould I update my software?
momJust hit "enter"! Hit "enter"!
dadI accidentally ordered 12 Swiffers on Amazon! What did I...
dadYou know, uh, no problem at all.
KatieThanks. It... it means a lot to me.