That is a nice Boulder
Donkey Wooh! Look at that. Who'd want to live in a place like that?
Shrek That would be my home.
Donkey Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful.
Donkey You are quite a decorator.
Donkey It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget.
Donkey I like that Boulder.
Donkey That is a nice Boulder.

You're not a king yet
Lord Mirror, mirror, on the wall.
Lord Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?
Mirror Well, technically you're not a king.
Lord Uh, Thelonius.
Thelonius (breaks a small mirror)
Lord You were saying?
Mirror What I mean is, you're not a king yet.
Mirror But you can become one.

It's a sacrifice I am willing to make
Lord Some of you may die,
Lord but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.

Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
Donkey Let me get this straight. You're gonna... ... ...
Donkey ... ... ... Is that about right?
Shrek You know what?
Shrek Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.

You're a girl dragon
Donkey Oh, what large teeth you have.
Donkey I mean, white, sparkling teeth.
Donkey I know you probably hear this all the time from your food,
Donkey but you must bleach, cause that is one dazzling smile you got there.
Donkey Do I detect a hint of minty freshness?
Donkey And you know what else? You're...
Donkey You're a girl dragon!
Donkey Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon.
Donkey You're just reeking of feminine beauty.

Right before they burst into flame
Fiona You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying.
Fiona That's what all the other knights did.
Shrek Yeah, right before they burst into flame.
Fiona That's not the point.

There's an arrow in your butt
Shrek Where did you learn that?
Fiona Well... When one lives alone,
Fiona uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a...
Fiona There's an arrow in your butt!

Stay away from the light
Donkey Don't die, Shrek.
Donkey If you see a long tunnel,
Donkey stay away from the light!

Blue flower, red thorns
Donkey Blue flower, red thorns.
Donkey Blue flower, red thorns.
Donkey This would be so much easier if I wasn't colour-blind!

I'm still afraid of the dark
Donkey Wait a minute. I see what's going on here.
Donkey You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?
Fiona Yes, that's it. I'm terrified.
Fiona You know, I'd better go inside.
Donkey Don't feel bad, Princess.
Donkey I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until...
Donkey Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.

It's rude enough being alive
Fiona What are you doing here?
Lord Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you...