Free Birds

Who are you talking to?
Jake We're going back in time to the first Thanksgiving
Jake to get turkeys off the menu.
Reggie Who are you talking to?
Jake This guy right here.
Jake He totally gets it.
Jake Look, look, see how he's nodding?

I can feel time warping!
Jake Entering time module.
Jake Stand back.
Jake Initiating launch sequence.
Jake Tingling sensation in lower body.
Jake Blood pressure rising, rapidly...
Jake Penetrating space-time continuum...
Jake I can feel time warping!

The chances of survival are almost zero.
president Chrononaut One, are you ready to be the first human being
president to travel through time?
astronaut Yes, sir!
general He'd better be.
general The chances of survival are almost zero.
astronaut Wait, you never said anything...
general That's on a need to know basis, sir.

What's Thanksgiving?
Jake I am Jake.
Jake I have traveled in a time machine named S.T.E.V.E.
Jake in order to stop Thanksgiving and get turkeys off the menu!
turkey What's Thanksgiving?
Jake Yeah, that's right.
Jake It hasn't happened.
Jake It's a feast of sorts.
turkey What's a menu?
Jake A menu, it's like a list of food items in a restaurant.
turkey What's a restaurant?
Jake That's not important.
Jake What's important is that you stop asking me questions
Jake and agree to follow me blindly!

I can't seem to catch this dot.
Reggie Did anybody see you? Jake!
Jake Whoo!
Jake Hold on! This is amazing!
Reggie Jake!
Jake This is incredible.
Jake I can't seem to catch this dot.
Jake Oh, that hurt.
Jake You gotta try this incredible workout.

You're an idiot.
Reggie I'm breaking like a hundred time travel rules,
Reggie and this might destroy the universe,
Reggie but I don't have a choice.
Reggie I've come back from the future to tell you something really important.
Reggie What is it?
Reggie You're an idiot.
Reggie Whoa! That's a little harsh.